Second Chance
by Briee
Summary: James and Lily dated in 4th year, but he turned out to be a jerk among other things . In 7th year, when they have to work together, can they get over their differences and maybe fall in love again?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: Okay, so this will be my latest Lily/James story. I haven't written about them in... oh I dunno, a few years. I can only hope it's better than my last ones.**

**About the story: Lily and James dated (secretly) in fourth year, but he was pushy and possessive (not to mention paranoid and perverted). Lily couldn't take it anymore and dumped him. Now, in their last year, they are made Head Boy and Girl (like in most stories) and they are forced to speak to each other. She realised that he has changed. But can she forgive him and maybe move on with that cute boy in Ravenclaw? Or will she end up falling for him all over again? Ooh, the drama!**

**The first chapters are like a prologue, telling you the background story between the two, instead of having those flashbacks all throughout the story (although I will add some of those just for the fun of it).**

**Now, if you don't like this story, it's fine. Just go back to the pages full of other wonderful stories that you can read. I don't own anything really, except for my twisted mind.**

**ENJOY!**

**--**

_4__th__ year_

Christmas break had just ended, and the students were grumbling back to school. No one wanted to go back to waking up early, going to class, and having to do homework; on the other hand, they did get to see their friends again, have snow ball fights, and gossip about whose Aunt Matilda had turned their Uncle Freddy into a toad.

Lily Evans was glad to come back after her awkward holiday with her parents and sister. She would no longer have to lie to her neighbours about her "advanced" school, and make up what she actually learnt. It didn't matter though anymore. In her eyes, she was home.

It didn't take her long to find her friends, Alice and Mary, who were already in a compartment on the train. When Lily entered, the two girls rushed over, giving the red-head a hug. They chatted about their holidays as they exchanged gifts.

Suddenly, a large boom echoed outside in the hall, and the tree girls felt the need to check it out. They poked their heads out of the door, as were many of their schoolmates.

Peter Pettigrew stood near a compartment, his face full of black powder, his hair standing straight up. It looked like a bomb had exploded in his hands; Lily guessed that it was a dungbomb because a very foul aroma began wafting through the halls.

She could hear the deep laughter of boys in the compartment that Peter was standing in front of. She knew right away who was in that compartment, and who was laughing.

It was the Marauders, a group of boys who caused trouble, and liked girls. A lot.

"Poor Peter," Mary exclaimed. "He's always the one who gets the worst of things."

Suddenly, the door of the boys' compartment opened, and out stepped James Potter. He ushered Peter in, and glanced around. The three girls weren't fast enough to enter their compartment, for the black-haired boy saw them and rushed over.

"Hey ladies, how would you like to come to our compartment? We've fixed it up so that it doesn't stink. What do you say?"

If the girls had been any other girl, they would have jumped at the chance; but they weren't and they declined.

"Oh come on… please? We'll even treat you to some chocolate frogs," James said, trying to bribe the girls.

"Give us a minute to think about it," Alice said, closing the door on the boy. "I think we should go."

"But--"

"Lily, I know you don't want to, but it couldn't hurt you to be nice to them for like, a minute, right? Plus, it's not like we're going to go snog them or anything. I just want to know what it's like inside the Marauder's cabin. We're going to be the talk of the school!" Alice's gray eyes were shining and Lily didn't want to be the one extinguishing them.

"Fine," Lily said, giving in at her friend's pleas, but still showing her annoyance. "You so owe me later."

"I'll get you your favourite chocolate chip mint ice cream from the kitchens, okay?" Alice promised, her blue eyes shining brightly. "Right Mary?"

Mary smiled. "Of course. But if you're not behaving Lily, there will be less and less ice cream."

"I sometimes hate you lot, you know that?"

"Of course you do dear, but let's go now." Alice opened the door, and James was grinning sheepishly.  
"Show us the way!"

James brought the trio to their compartment, let them in first, then shut the door.

Lily glanced around the room, noting the differences between the four friends, and wondering how in the world they ever became so close.

She sat down next to the window, glancing at the winter wonderland outside, trying to find the castle off at the distance, but she knew they were too far for that. James sat in front of her, watching her every move.

"It's so nice out there," she said. "I wish I could lie there and watch the snow fall."

"I know," James replied, adjusting his glasses. "I can't wait to be able to walk the grounds at school and just… clear my head."

Lily nodded. "I love winter. It's so peaceful and calm, but it can turn around and be wild and stormy. But it is always so beautiful"

"A little like you," James said. "But that's okay, because someone has to shake things up a bit."

A blush crept over her freckled face. "I do not know what you are talking about."

"Lily, you love winter because you are like winter. Sometimes, you are calm and peaceful, and sometimes you're wild and stormy, but you're always so beautiful."

Her blush became more pronounced and she was shocked that he was being so intimate when there were many other people around her. They didn't seem to notice a thing though.

The rest of the train ride was done with Lily looking out the window, trying to ignore the fact that James was staring at her the whole time.

--

That night, in the Great Hall, as they ate their food, Lily could feel his eyes on hers. She didn't even have to look up to know that James Potter was staring at her. The few times that she did look up though, their eyes caught and a blush traveled over her cheeks.

Alice and Mary gave each other knowing glancing whenever their friend turned red, but questioned her nonetheless of why she was blushing.

"Nothing," replied the red-head. She did not look back in James Potter's direction again all night.

--

"Hey Lily," James said, catching up to the green-eyed girl. "How are you?"

Lily looked around her, making sure no other Lily was near her that could cause confusion. "Are you talking to me?"

"Well, I am next to your right now and there are no other Lily's around, so yeah, I am talking to you."

"I am fine. You?"

"Fine." He glanced at me for a moment before adding, "I never noticed how green your eyes are. They are like, intensely green."

Lily dropped her books, she was so surprised. "What?"

James swooped down to pick them up just as she did the same. They brushed hands as they picked up the same book. James gave it to her and she blushed.

"You're very pretty when you blush," James said, which made her blush even more.

"Stop it!" she muttered.

"Stop telling you you're pretty?" he asked, looking confused. "But you are, so why wouldn't I tell you that?"

"I don't know why, just because okay?"

"Are you ashamed of your beauty?"

"No. I just don't feel very beautiful, so why should I believe someone else finds me pretty."

"Because you are!"

"Okay well thank you then. I will be off, because I have to get some books I forgot in my room." And with that, Lily walked as fast as she could towards the Gryffindor Common Room.

--

"Lily, James keeps staring at you. Is there something you would like to tell us?" Alice asked, noticing the raven-haired boy look at the red-head for the umpteenth time.

"No. There is nothing to tell."

"The how come he's looking at you now?"

"He just enjoys looking in my direction I guess."

"He likes you, you know."

"And I'm the Queen."

"All hail her majesty."

"Alice, just knock it off please?"

"Fine, fine, but can I at least ask him if he likes you because he is coming this way."

"No! Alice, I will kill you if you say a word!"

"Oye, James! Come over here for a moment!"

A big smile grew over James Potter's lips as he made his way over to the two girls. Lily groaned and Alice smirked. "Yes ladies? Anything I can do for you?"

"You can leave us alone," muttered Lily.

"Now, now, luv, I'm hurt by your words. But it was Alice who beckoned me, so is there something you would like?" he asked, turning from the red-head to her friend.

Alice just laughed and Lily couldn't comprehend why Alice was not blushing as Lily would have been. "James, unfortunately, you're just not my type of bloke." The boy in question raised his eyebrow, questioningly. "But, I did bring you over here to speak to you on behalf of my red-headed friend here who is too shy to say anything."

Lily felt her face heat up, and when James combed his hand through his messy hair to try and push the strands from his eyes, she swore she turned a new shade of red. "Alice, seriously, I will kill you if you keep talking."

"Now Lily, that is not the way to speak to your friend. Alice, please continue. You've got my attention."

Lily continued to shoot daggers with her eyes towards her friend as she spoke. "Well, I noticed you've been looking at Lily a lot. Is there something you'd like to ask her?"

"Well, I was going to ask if she would like to join me in Hogsmead, but by the color her lovely face is turning, I can assume even without asking her, that she wants to."

Lily suddenly got up. "If you are asking me out, you'll have to do better than that. And don't you dare use my friends' questions as an excuse to ask me out." Her face was still burning, but now, because of anger, not embarrassment. She stomped away, out of the room and into the corridor.

A walk, she decided, was what she needed to calm herself down. Nothing better than a walk around the grounds to clear one's head.

Lily made her way down to the grounds and began the familiar path around the school. The fresh air cleared her thoughts, even if it nipped her nose a bit. She wasn't able to make it half way down the path before she heard footsteps behind her.

"Lily, please wait."

The red-head turned around and saw that James Potter was following her. His face was red from the cold and puffs of breath shone, but he was still good-looking.

Lily could have kicked herself for thinking that, but she decided that it was not the time to do so.

"Hullo James. Lovely afternoon is it not?"

"If you call freezing your backside lovely, then yes it is."

Lily laughed. "And here I thought you liked winter."

"I like the snow," James corrected, "not the cold that comes with it."

"You can't have one without the other."

"I know," James replied, smiling softly at the red-head. "How about we go inside and have some hot chocolate? I'll ask the elves to put in extra marshmallows."

Lily raised her eyebrow, and a twinge of a smile appeared on her face. He knew her well it seemed, but she wasn't ready to give up. "Well, usually, I get my hot chocolate with extra marshmallows after I've taken my walk. Why break tradition? But if you want to go inside because it's too cold for you, be my guest."

James shivered and looked back longingly towards the school. "It's not too bad once you get used to it," the raven-haired boy finally said. "I guess I could toughen it out."

"That's the spirit!" Lily said, turning back towards her path. A full blown grin shown on her lips, because she knew she won. He wasn't going to get her that easily.

Not even with extra marshmallows.

--

**Author's note: This is only the first part of year 4. Depending on how much information I can put in, I might have two more describing their relationship in year 4 which led to Lily's hatred. It'll all depend on the reviews as to how quickly I update. So click on that wonderful little button on the bottom of the page and write me a little something. Suggestions are always nice, as are praises. Thanks in advance!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: It's in this chapter that James and Lily's relationship develops, and you can see why Lily chose to be with James even though people are telling her that she shouldn't be with him. Dilemma, dilemma. **

**----------------------------------------------------**

Lily was walking from class when she heard a pair of footsteps behind her. She walked a bit faster, and heard the steps increase behind her.

Suddenly, the red-head heard a voice behind her. "Dammit, woman, you walk too fast."

Lily laughed and turned around. James was speed-walking to catch up to her and once he had, he ran his hands through his dark hair to push them from his eyes. 

A shiver ran through Lily that had nothing to do with the draft that was running through the school.

"Would you mind if I walked with you?"

The green-eyed girl shrugged. "Sure, why not? I'm headed to Charms. I do believe you have that class too."

James grinned. "Glad you noticed."

"How can I not? You have to be the loudest bloke in that class... well apart from Sirius that is."

James laughed, a low sound that warmed Lily's heart. She couldn't help but smile and giggle.

"You should smile more often. It makes your eyes shine."

A blush crept over her freckled face at his comment. "I only smile when someone makes me smile."

"Lily, if you let me, I could make you smile all day long. Even all night long, if that's what you want," he said to her, giving the red-head a wink.

"I'm sure you use that line on all the girls."

"Only on the most important one."

"Well, then, don't I feel special."

"You should. You are special."

"I'm glad you think so."

"Why shouldn't I think that?"

"Because I'm not special, but if you want to think so, go right ahead."

"Lily, why are you always putting yourself down? You're a beautiful person and you should realize that."

"Again, if that's what you want to think, you can. Personally, I don't agree."

He stopped her, putting his arm out so that she couldn't pass. "Stop saying that. Any bloke would be lucky to have you."

"I don't see them queuing up."

James suddenly went in front of Lily. "I'm here. I might be the only one here, but still, that's someone."

"You're sweet." Her voice dripped with sarcasm. He wasn't the boy she was interested in, and she wasn't willing to go out with a boy she didn't feel that way about. But still, there was something about him that intrigued her.

"Come on, Lily. Please? Give me a chance? I'll prove to you how awesome and beautiful a person you are. I'll show you how wonderful you really are."

"If you can do that, then I applaud you."

"Give me a chance? Be my girlfriend?"

"Let me think about it. I'll give you an answer by tomorrow."

"Promise?"

"Yes."

"Then I shall wait for you, luv." He gave her a peck on the cheek before ducking into class. 

Lily was left there standing, holding her hand to her cheek.

-----

"For the love of Merlin, Lils, say yes!" Alice cried, after her red-headed friend told her the news.

"But should I? It wouldn't be fair to him if I don't really care for him."

"Then say no."

"But I want to say yes." Lily shrugged and sighed. "I'm so confused."

"Well, if you want to say yes, there has to be a reason why."

"I know, I know. My brain is telling my no, but a part of me wants to say yes."

"You like him. You just don't know it," Alice said, grinning. "Come on, what's the worst that could happen? He turns out to be a jerk and you dump him. Simple as that."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." 

As Lily went to bed though, she had a funny feeling in her stomach that this might not be the best idea.

-----

At breakfast that morning, as the owls brought the mail, Lily noticed a beautiful white owl fly towards her. Puzzled, she unwrapped the letter attached to its leg when it landed on the table in front of her. The letter was actually a single piece of paper folded in two. Scribbled on the parchment was "Will you go out with me?" and at the bottom, the letter "J".

A grin erupted on Lily's face. She wanted to glance over at the black-haired boy, but she forced herself not to. Alice and Mary weren't down from the common room yet, so Lily gave herself a moment to reflect.

She glanced down on the paper again and then looked over in the general direction of the Marauders. She noticed that many girls were doing the same, but she doubted that they had a paper in their hand, asking them to go out with James Potter.

Or did they?

Lily shook her scarlet locks to rid her mind of that thought. 

No, she wasn't going to do that to herself. She was going to take the chance. She was going to try it out. And, like Alice said, if he turns out to be a jerk, she can dump his bum. 

He did have a lovely bum, she thought.

She didn't want anyone to know that she thought that though, so she hastily scribbled something on the paper and attached it back to the owl's leg. It flew back out the window and Lily smiled as she ate her muffin.

This was going to be a fun day.

----

James ran up to the red-head girl and wrapped his arms around her. "Hey luv."

Lily pulled away. "Did you not read my conditions on the back of the paper?"

James's face dropped slightly but he recovered quickly. "Aww come on luv," he said, running his hands through his raven hair, "are you serious?"

"Of course I am. I do not like drawing attention to myself. You should know that. The most I will do is hold your hand. The rest can wait till no one's looking. Is that okay?" Lily smiled sweetly, trying to win him over. 

Frustrated, he sighed. "Fine, fine. Have it your way." He grabbed her hand and nearly dragged her to their next class. As they raced down the hall way, she swore she heard him mutter, "You'll be the death of me, woman."

Lily smiled at this.

----

"Go sit with your friends. I always sit with Alice anyways." 

"But I want to sit with you. Now that you're my girlfriend, I want to be with you."

"I know, I get that. But I need to be with my friends too, okay?"

"Fine," James said, pouting slightly.

Lily rolled her eyes as she sat down next to Alice. "Are you sure it was a good idea to be his girlfriend?"

"Why, already having problems?"

"No... it's not that..."

"Spill already."

The red-head blew out, causing her bangs to lift. "He's needy."

"Really? I wouldn't peg him as the type."

"Well, maybe that's just how I see it. Maybe it's supposed to be like that. But he seems to always want to be near me."

"Lily, if he's your boyfriend, obviously he wants to be near you."

"I know, I know. That's why I didn't want to say anything. Maybe I'm just thinking too far into this. Girls would die to be James Potter's girlfriend and all I had to do was be myself."

"Give it some time. You're not used to having a boyfriend."

"Thanks for that Captain Obvious."

"At your service," Alice said, smiling.

------

"Hey luv," James said, catching up to his girlfriend in the hallway.

Mary was wide-eyed when she saw him, and Lily forgot that she didn't know. "Hi James," she said to him, giving Mary a pleading look. The green-eyed girl mouthed the words "later" to her friend and turned her attention back to James. "How are you?"

"Good... I'm ready for lunch. Let's go down." He grabbed her hand and began going down the hall with Lily trailing behind him. 

She cast one last look behind her at Mary who looked stunned and waved.

----

"James, I told you I'm not hungry."

"Lily, eat. You need your energy." James placed a sandwich on Lily's plate.

"I don't plan on running a marathon. I don't need to eat." Lily replaced the sandwich on his plate. 

"Please eat Lily. I don't want you to pass out later." The raven-haired boy placed the food back onto her plate.

"James, stop it. I do not want to eat it." 

"Why not? If you think you're too fat or something silly like that, it's not true."

"James Potter, if I do not wish to eat at this particular moment, I do not need to. I have a mother, thank you very much. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to use the loo." Lily slammed the sandwich onto James' plate and walked away. 

For the rest of lunch she hid out in the loo hoping that James wouldn't be waiting for her outside.

----------------------------------------------------

**Author's note: So we now see the beginning of a deteriorating relationship. Stay tuned for more drama next chapter... that's when things will get really scary!**

**Also, my beta pointed out that "why would the owl leave the table and fly out instead of going straight to James?" Well, you see, the answer to that is that I figured that the owl would drop off the letter to James at a later time (ie after breakfast) so that attention isn't drawn from the fact that an owl went from Lily to James... plus, wouldn't that look funny if an owl was hopping about the table?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note: So this should be the before last chapter for the 4****th**** year... this chapter will explain why Lily hates James so much. By the way, this chapter is for a TEEN audience and at the end of the chapter, there is a scene that some readers may not be able to handle.**

For the next few days, Lily was able to make up excuses as to why she didn't have to be next to James all the time.

After a while though, she could hear the annoyance in her boyfriend's voice, so she promised him that she would spend Friday evening with him. Happily, James walked away and Lily was left wondering if that was the right decision.

Friday morning came and went, and Lily was dreading the afternoon.

The red-head wasn't sure what the raven-haired boy was expecting. She had never kissed a boy, so she wasn't sure if she was a good kisser or not. Kissing was the only she was prepared to do though, so she had to toughen it out and see where the day will take her.

She didn't really want to tell Alice about her fears, because she knew that her friend would just tell her that she was worried for nothing. Alice and Mary were experienced with boys. James was experienced with girls. Everyone seemed to have had a relationship before Lily, so there was no one she could talk to.

She was going into this blind, and it scared her very much.

When classes were done, James came up to Lily and pecked her cheek softly.

"Hi James," the red-head said. "How are you?"

"I'm good," was his reply, "but I'll be better later when we're together."

A blush rose slightly on Lily's cheeks at his tone, and she wondered again what he was hoping to get out of her. "So are we just hanging out in your room? Or are your friends going to be there too?"

"We have the whole dorm room to ourselves, because I told them I needed the room to myself for a bit." He waggled his eyebrows. "Do you think we'll need it all night?"

The blush became more pronounced. "No, that won't be necessary."

"Too bad."

"I bet."

Once Lily dropped off her books in her room, she met James back in the common room. "Ready?" he asked.

Lily nodded and again, wondered if this was the right decision.

They made their way up the stairs and, thankfully in Lily's opinion, they didn't meet any other boys. Just because Lily was James' girlfriend, didn't mean she wanted everyone to know.

They got into James' room, and he placed his bag and wand down by his bed. Glancing around the room, the red-head noticed that the room was slightly messy, but nothing too weird was on the floor.

Lily sat down on James' bed and bit her lip. James sat down next to her and wrapped his arm around her neck before kissing her cheek.

"James, I have a confession."

"What is it?" He nuzzled her cheek with his nose, which tickled.

"I've never kissed anyone before."

James turned her so that she faced him. "A pretty girl like you has never kissed a boy before?" Lily shook her head, embarrassed. "Well, then, let me be your first."

He kissed her softly, wrapping his arms around her waist. Lily was unsure what to do with her hands (or her lips for that matter), so she placed then on James' shoulders.

The raven-haired boy chuckled and pulled away. "Luv," he said, "you can put your arms around me."

Lily turned red. "Okay."

James smiled and kissed her again softly. "We'll practice lots, alright?"

"Alright."

James smiled again and began kissing her again. Lily moved her arm around his neck, and tried to mimic James' lips. She seemed to be doing okay, because he pushed her lips with his tongue. Automatically, Lily opened her mouth and she felt his tongue slid in.

When they pulled apart, James grinned confidently. "How was that?"

Lily smiled nervously. "Fine."

When James turned away, Lily hastily wiped the saliva from her lips.

"He's a bad kisser!?" Alice nearly screamed, that night as they were getting to bed.

"It was all wet and, well, truthfully? It was bloody gross," Lily commented, shuddering at the memory.

"Wow. But seriously, I never thought James Potter would be a bad kisser."

"Maybe it's my fault... maybe I'm the bad kisser," Lily said, sighing.

Alice laughed. "Lil, not that I would know, but I'm sure you're an awesome kisser. You just haven't tapped into your kissing skills."

"But what should I do about Mr. Too Much Tongue?"

"Wait it out, see if it gets better. If not, maybe nicely mention the problem?"

"How do you nicely tell someone that they slobber all over you when they kiss you?"

"I can see how that could be a dilemma."

The next afternoon, Lily and James returned to his room. His mates were all away again. This time, Lily thought she was prepared for what was to come.

James kissed her as soon as they entered his room. He pressed her against the door and pushed his body onto hers. A tingling sensation ran through Lily's body, but she didn't pause to think of it.

She didn't want a repeat of last time, so she took charge of the kiss.

James seemed shocked at first, but let the red-head take over anyways. When Lily pulled away, she was flushed, but happy.

Not too much slobber this time.

One evening, the couple were sitting on James' bed when suddenly, he started tickling her. She laughed and fell onto her back.

James rolled on top of her so that she couldn't get away and tickled her some more. The red-head was laughing and squirming underneath the boy, screaming for him to stop.

He swooped down and kissed her, pressing his body on hers. Lily lost herself in the moment for a second before she felt something uncomfortable.

"Um, James? Is that..."

"Ah, come on. You know you like it."

Oh Merlin, she thought. "Get off."

"You don't like it?"

"I said get off!" She heaved her body and threw the boy down. "Think of dead kittens or something. Just get that away."

"Bloody hell, Lily. It's natural."

Lily closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. "I have to go. I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?"

Before he could say anything else, she left, not even looking back.

That night, as Lily was going to bed, Alice and Mary tried prying the information out of her, but their friend was too embarrassed to tell them.

Lily couldn't sleep though. She kept replaying the scene over and over in her mind, wondering how she could have let it happen, or what went wrong. She knew that it was a natural occurrence (thanks to the "birds and the bees" conversation she once had with her mother), but experiencing it when she wasn't ready for it...

In reality, Lily was scared. She was scared of herself, of what happened, and most of all, of James and the power he could use on her. After all, he was on the Quidditch team and could throw a Quaffle from far away... that must mean that he has strong arms, right?

Lily shuttered at the thought, and finally fell asleep, though her dreams were haunted.

James was become increasingly needy towards Lily, wanting to be with her all the time, and whenever she turned him away, he wouldn't talk to her for the rest of the day. He also wanted to hold her hand and when Lily refused, he became moody and asked her, "Do you want to break up with me?", to which Lily answered in the negative.

But after a week of that, Lily couldn't take it anymore. She began distancing herself from him, unable to deal with his moody states.

"He's worse than a woman!" Lily cried one night, throwing herself on her bed.

Alice sat down next to her while Mary sat on her own bed. "Lily, is he really that bad?"

Lily started crying. "Yes, he is. I hate being his girlfriend. He's far too possessive of me! I can't stand it anymore!"

Alice rubbed Lily's back in slow circles, trying to calm the red-head down. "Lily, just break up with him. It's that simple."

"I know it is, but I can't stand hurting people."

"You're hurting yourself though. That's even worse," Mary said. "The longer you stay in that relationship, the more you're hurting yourself."

"I know, I know," Lily cried, "but how can I break up with him?"

"Talk to him tomorrow after classes," Mary suggested.

"But don't lead him into false promises that you can't keep." Alice amended.

"Okay. It's decided. I, Lily Evans, will no longer be James Potter's girlfriend."

After classes the next day, Lily and James did their routine of going to his room. He closed the door and pressed his body on her to kiss her, but Lily moved her head away.

"We have to talk."

"I want to kiss. We'll talk later."

"No, James."

"Yes, Lily." He muzzled her neck and raised her shirt so that his hands were on her skin. "My, your skin is oh so soft."

"James, stop it." She tried pushing him away, but he held her there.

"Come on Lily. I know you want it." He cupped her breast and squeezed. She gasped, not from pleasure, but from disgust. "I know you like it."

She could feel something poking her legs and she quickly realised what it was, she pushed against him harder. "James, let me go."

"Baby, don't resist. You're just scared of it, I know. It's natural though."

"Bloody hell, get off of me!"

"No!" he screamed at her, grabbing her and throwing her on the bed. He pulled at her shirt, and the buttons came flying off. Lily scrambled to cover her chest, even though it was still protected by a bra, but James sat on top of her and pinned down her arms. "I love you baby, so much. Say you love me."

"I hate you," she spat at him. With all her strength, she lifted her pelvis and rolled out from under him. His arms were still on hers, but a quick knee to his crotch made him let go quickly.

Lily hastily covered her chest and wrenched open the door before nearly flying down the stairs. Not many people were in the common room, which was good for Lily, so she quickly sprinted up the stairs and into her dorm.

She ripped off her shirt and fled to the small loo, where she emptied her stomach contents before curling up in a ball on the floor.

**Author's note: I'm sorry it took so long for me to write, but it was hard to write this chapter. I couldn't bring myself to write it; it haunted me. I'm sorry to any reader who was uncomfortable with the last scene, but its part of the story. Dark, I know. But it had to be written. It's the major reason why Lily hates James so much.**

**Also, I made a reference to a story called "Hogwarts Pie" by LavenderBrown. It's an amazing story and because of it, I have used the phrase "Think of dead kittens" on many occasions (but not because of a boy being 'happy' haha). I recommend you read this if you want to laugh your bums off.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's note: I'm sorry if I offended anyone in the last chapter, but it was necessary. But things get better now. I promise. Also, I've been writing like mad to get out new chapters. **

**--**

When Lily woke up, she was in Hospital Wing. She glanced around, unsure why she was here, but she couldn't think of why she would be stuck in a bed.

Alice and Mary suddenly appeared at the foot of her bed.

"Lily, you gave us such a scare!" Alice cried, rushing over to the red-head. "You've been asleep for almost three days."

"Three days?" Lily said, coughing as she talked.

"We found you on the floor and you wouldn't wake up. You were sweating, but you were shivering at the same time," Mary added, her eyes brimming with tears. "We were so scared!"

"I- Well- You see-" Lily started, but each time, she began coughing violently. "What's wrong with me?" she finally blurted out, before coughing again.

Madam Pomfrey bustled in at that moment, carrying a tray of medicine. "Oh good! Lily dear, we were worried about you."

"What's," cough, "wrong," cough, "with," cough, "me!" Lily burst into tears and had a coughing spell.

"Here dear, take a sip of this. It will help with the coughing." The nurse spooned some red stuff into the red-head's mouth, which almost instantly soothed her throat.

"Thanks," Lily said weakly.

"It seems that you have a Muggle sickness. I believe that it's called 'pneumonia', which you must have contracted from your home over the winter break."

"Can you cure her?" James asked, walking into the Hospital Wing.

All four girls turned their head, and Lily paled considerably. "No. Leave."

Alice heard the girl's whisper. "James, I think Lily would rather you left at the moment."

"I'm her boyfriend. I have the right to be here. Plus, I need to talk to her."

"James, seriously. Leave," Mary said, crossing her arms.

"Bloody hell, what's wrong with you people? She's sick; I want to be near her to help her get better."

"James, dear, there's already enough people here. Too many and she'll be too tired," Madam Pomfrey said, trying to sooth the boy. "Come back later maybe."

James huffed. "Fine then." With that, he sharply turned his heel and left.

After he left, Lily leaned over the side of her bed and threw up.

--

"Lily, what happened?" Alice asked, pressing a cold towel to Lily's head.

It wasn't a magical remedy, but it helped keep Lily's fever down for a while and Alice had a reason to stay close to her friend.

"I don't want to talk about it," Lily whispered, coughing slightly.

"I know you. Something happened. What did James do to you?"

Lily shook her head. "Water?"

Alice got the red-head a glass of water and Lily sipped the straw thirstily. "Lily..."

"Please," she pleaded. "Not now." She coughed and Madam Pomfrey came bustling in to give Lily something for the coughing. Alice left to give them some privacy.

"This is puzzling me," the nurse said, giving Lily the same red potion as the other day. "I've never had a student contract Pneumonia before. I'm not quite sure what potion to give you. But, I've send word to a few colleagues of mine in the Muggle world, so hopefully, I'll have a cure for you soon."

Lily smiled. "Thanks."

"It's too bad that you're missing so much school though. And Mr. Potter has been inquiring about you since the day you came in, but your friends refuse to let him see you. Is there something you need to say Miss Evans?"

Lily shook her head. "I just don't want to see him," she said. Already, her coughing subsided considerably.

Madam Pomfrey regarded the girl and decided that when she was ready to explain herself, she would.

After the nurse left, Lily took out an envelop from under her bed, re-read it, and burnt the paper with a quick charm, letting her tears fall freely.

--

Lily was feeling better on Monday morning, and told the nurse that she wanted to go to classes. Madam Pomfrey though was reluctant and wanted the girl to stay an extra day or so.

"No, I've been in here since Thursday and I'm so bored."

"Fine, Miss Evans, but if you feel then slightest bit ill, come back straight to me."

"I promise!" the red-head said, practically skipping out of the Hospital Wing.

--

After a quick shower, she hurriedly got dressed. A note fell from her bed as she grabbed her socks.

Lily picked up the note, and her name was scribbled on the front. She recognized the writing and was ready to burn it, but her curiosity got the better of her.

Opening the letter, she read:

_Dearest Lily,_

_I am so sorry for what I have done. It was not my intention to push you away. I merely wanted to show you how desired you were. I guess I went about it the wrong way. Please do not tell anyone. I will make it up to you anyway I can. I will buy you your hearts desires. _

_Love, J _

She ripped the paper in many pieces and flushed it down the loo.

--

Mary and Alice weren't in that same class as her, so she sat next to another girl who was in Gryffindor with her, a Cassiopeia Vahila. They chatted quietly about school when suddenly, she felt someone stand behind her.

She turned around, dreading who it was.

"Hi Lily. I thought we would sit next to each other."

"No. I don't want anything to do with you ever again."

"Aw, baby, I'm sorry about the other night."

"Good for you. I still don't want anything to do with you ever again."

"You're breaking up with me?"

"Does it sound like I'm declaring my love for you?"

Tears shone in the boy's eyes, but Lily couldn't care less. "Why?"

Lily suddenly laughed mirthlessly. She got funny stares but she didn't care. "Are you that dense? Bloody Hell Potter, you are such an arrogant prick. I hate you, and I always will. And if you can't figure out why, then... I don't even know what to say. Just get out of my sight and never talk to me again or I will hurt you."

"But Lily..."

The red-head took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "Just, sod off. I don't want anything to do with you."

"James, let's just go," Sirius said, guiding his friend to a seat near the back.

"Lily, are you okay?" asked Cassiopeia, noticing the tears running down the red-head's cheeks.

"Just peachy keen, thanks."

--

During Transfigurations, James sat behind Lily, much to her chagrin. Alice and Mary were both in her class though, so she was able to share part of her burden with them.

"I'm so proud of you Lils. I know it's hard, but it had to be done," Alice told her friend, trying to sooth her nerves.

"I know, but... The way he looked at me..."

"Lily, he did something to you that you didn't like. We don't know what it is, but you do, and you need to remember that. He might be good looking and suave and whatever, but he's just a bloke, and he mucked up big time. Remember that."

"I know, I know. I think I'm just going to swear off men. If they're that much trouble, there's no point." Lily blew out her bangs and closed her eyes. Suddenly, she had a coughing spell.

"Lily, are you okay?"

The red-head nodded but it wasn't noticed since she was coughing. "Hospital Wing," she gasped, running out of the room.

--

Alice and Mary followed shortly after, having to tell McGonagall what was happening, and found Lily coughing in a bed.

Madam Pomfrey was trying to administer the coughing potion, but Lily could barely breathe much less take a potion. Finally, the red-head's coughing subsided enough for the nurse to give her the potion and Lily fell asleep instantly.

--

"Miss Evans, I must ask you this. Has something happened to you over the course of the last few days that would have triggered you to be so ill?"

"I thought it was just pneumonia."

"Well, it is, but I believe that something else is causing you to not get better. I've been administrating this potion to you that should help, yet you tell me that you feel no different everyday."

Lily sighed, wondering if she should trust the nurse with this. She might go to Dumbledore and the last thing she wanted to do was draw attention on her blunder. "I just have had a rough couple of days. Nothing major."

"And what of Mr. Potter. He no longer comes to visit."

"I told him to leave me alone. That's all."

"Were the two of you intimate?"

Lily cringed at the thought. "We were dating, if you want to even call it that. He expected more than I was comfortable giving and I told him to sod off."

"Is that all?"

All that she was going to get out of her, Lily thought. "Yes."

The nurse regarded the girl again, but found no traces of a lie.

--

When Lily finally did get better, she spilled everything to her friends.

"But you have to promise not to tell anyone. I don't want anyone to know about this."

"But Lily, he nearly raped you," Mary said, shocked.

"I know, I know, okay? I still don't want anyone to know my business. He didn't because I didn't let him. Leave it at that. Don't make me regret telling you this."

"Lily..." Alice pleaded.

"No. I told you because you are my friends. Now, I do not want to ever talk about this ever again. If you as so much bring it up, I will no longer consider you my friend. Understood?"

Alice and Mary were shocked at their friend's behaviour, but complied. "Understood."

"Good. Now if you excuse me, I want to go to sleep. Good night."

As Lily closed the curtains around her bed, a note fell onto her bed. _How in the world was he getting them up here? _she wondered, ripping open the seal.

_Dearest Lily,_

_I am sorry for what has happened between us. I love you with all my heart, and I will do everything in my power to make you see the errors of your way. I need you Lily, without you I fear I will die. I will give you everything you could have ever wanted just for you to love me again. Is it too much to ask for a second chance?_

_J._

Lily burnt the paper with her wand, soundproofed the curtains and screamed out her rage until she was hoarse.

--

Passing an ex boyfriend in the hallway is always unnerving. Lily knew this. But when she finally did pass James in the hallway, she nearly threw up.

Somehow though, she got through the days.

--

**Author's note: This is the last of Year 4. The next chapters will all be Year 7. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's note: This is the beginning of the 7****th**** year. The other 4 chapters were like a preface to the story, and then 7****th**** year is when everything comes together. Yay for coming togethers!**

**--**

_7__th__ Year_

Lily was named Head Girl in her final year and she wore the title proudly. She had worked hard to get such a title and had learnt a lot about herself since the beginning of her first year.

Also, since her blunder in fourth year, she had learnt how to control her heart and not let it make the best of her. True, she had dated James (which she rarely admitted), but she had not actually given up hope on men. After waiting and waiting, she had finally found the man of her dreams.

Jordan McCain was handsome, no doubt about it, with his blue eyes and sandy blond hair that fell in his eyes just so, but that wasn't the only thing about him that attracted Lily. He was nice, sweet, gentle. Most of all, he was safe and didn't expect Lily to give him anything more than what she was ready to give.

So as she got onto the train the first day in September, she went straight to the cabin that she always shared with Jordan.

When she opened the door, he smiled and gave her a peck on the cheek. "Hey luv, how was your summer?"

Lily smiled. "Great! France was so beautiful."

"I wish I could have been there with you."

Lily smiled. "You were in my heart."

A grin erupted on his face and he gave her a kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too."

Suddenly, the door opened again and Alice and Mary walked in. "Lily!" they both cried upon seeing their red-headed friend.

Lily got up and gave each girl a hug. "How was France?" Alice asked excitedly. "Meet any cute French boys?"

Jordan cried out with a "Hey!", but the girls pointedly ignored him. "Unfortunately, I didn't. They were all way too preoccupied playing football."

"Too bad," Mary said, giggling.

The three girls sat down and the train began to move. "Oops, I'm going to be late if I don't leave now. Being Head Girl means I have to be on time!" Lily said, kissing Jordan on his cheek and rushing out of the compartment.

As she left the compartment though, she bumped into someone and fell to the floor.

"Oh, sorry. Here, let me help you up." A pair of strong arms picked her up and set her back down.

"I'm terribly sorry to have bumped into you," Lily said, brushing off her robe. "I just-" Looking up, she stopped her sentence short. "Oh, it's you."

"Hullo," James said, shifting awkwardly. "Are you okay?"

"Fine," the red-head said, holding her head high. "Now, if you'll excuse me, there is somewhere I need to be."

She walked away swiftly, not bothering to look back.

--

Lily sat in the Head's compartment, calming herself down. She wondered who the Head Boy was, smiling at all the good possibilities. The red-head hoped that Remus would get the title because that way, she wouldn't have to awkwardly share a dorm room with someone. At least she would be on good terms with him.

The door of the compartment opened and when Lily looked up, her jaw dropped. "Are you serious?"

"No, I'm not Sirius. That's a good thing." James Potter smiled awkwardly. "Sorry, that was a bad joke."

"Yes, I do think it was."

"Forgive me?"

Lily was stunned, but nodded. "It's forgiven, although I don't think that there is a reason for that. It was just a joke."

James glanced at the seat in front of Lily, then looked back at the girl. "You can sit, you know," she said, motioning to the seat. "No one else is going to be sitting there."

"Thanks," he said before sitting down. "How was your summer?"

Lily regarded the boy sitting in front of her. "Look Potter. Just because we're Heads, doesn't mean that I have to like you. Get that into your head."

"Lily, I'm so sorry for everything that's happened between us."

"I did not give you permission to use my Christian name," Lily said, trying to control herself, "nor do I care about your apologies. Your words mean nothing. If you show me that you are sorry, I will consider it. Because as we both know, actions speak way louder than words will ever."

James hung his head. "I'm sorry. What should I call you then? Evans?"

"Sure, why not."

They spent the next few minutes in silence before the Prefects came bustling in. They could feel the tension in the air, Lily was sure of it, but they didn't say anything about it.

Luckily, the meeting went by fast, as Lily and James outlined what they expected out of the Prefects, how they should patrol and whom they should talk to if anything suspicious should arise.

The group of younger students left after being dismissed and Lily slumped down in her seat. James regarded her with a curious expression that did not go unnoticed.

"Stop staring at me."

"I'm sorry, I can't help it."

The old Lily would have blushed at that, but the new Lily could care less. "Look, I have a boyfriend. We've been dating for almost a year now. Don't expect me to just drop everything and come running back to you at the first compliment you give. I am no longer that little girl that just wants her Prince Charming."

"Who's Prince Charming?"

"It's the bloke that the heroine of a fairy tale always ends up with. But that's not even the point. The point is, you're not him. You're never going to be him. Don't expect that I will give you another chance. Don't even expect me to be nice to you."

"Fair enough. I deserve that and so much more. The most I can expect is for you to actually talk to me, since we're both Heads."

"Exactly."

The subject was dropped, which Lily was glad for. It was strange enough to be talking to an ex boyfriend that she hated, but it was something else to be discussing the fact that he was an ex boyfriend.

Since the Heads couldn't leave the compartment in case someone needed to speak to them, Lily opened up her book, a Muggle story called THE HOBBIT, and read the whole way through.

Though the whole train ride, she was hyper-aware of the fact that James was looking at her.

--

**Author's note: It's a short chapter, I know, but I had to start somewhere. This is only the beginning of all things awkward between the two star-crossed lovers. Only they don't know they're star-crossed lovers... yet...**

**REVIEW PLEASE! It helps me write more deliciously strange stories. **

**Also, another thing before I sent this off, a few people have commented on how scary/creepy James is. I know. I deliberately made it so, because of the fact that it's the whole reason Lily hated him. Hate must come from somewhere right? I know it's extreme, over-the-top, and everything else, but everything will be explained in future chapters... **


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's note: I want to thank all who have reviewed so far. I hope you are enjoying my story.**

**--**

Lily was glad to be in her bed for the night. True, she had to share a common room with James. True, she would have to see him everyday. True, she had to talk to him about school stuff. But, the one place she would be alone was in her room.

Her bed was probably her favourite thing. It was a huge four poster bed, with a canopy made with golden material. The sheets were red and the comforter was deep red with golden thread making intricate patterns. The best part though, was the pillows, so soft that once you placed your head on them, they sunk to that shape.

That's where Lily was at that moment, in her bed, thinking about Jordan. She wanted to go see him, but he was in the Ravenclaw tower, and she didn't even know how the Ravenclaw security worked.

Oh well, she would have to just dream about him.

But just as she was about to fall asleep, thinking of her boyfriend, the image of James Potter popped into her mind.

What the hey?

Lily shook her head of the thought and fell asleep.

--

For the next few days, she could feel James's eyes watching her. She would turn though, and he would have already turned his head.

She spent a lot of time with Jordan to distract herself, but she was still haunted by her past.

One afternoon, she invited Jordan to her room to hang out. As soon as the couple entered though, they began kissing.

Lily put all of her emotions into the kiss, trying to forget all about James. He might haunt her, but he wasn't going to ruin her time with Jordan.

They continued their kiss and Jordan pushed her against the wall. A chill ran through Lily's body that had nothing to do with being scared.

A knock sounded on the door.

"Lily... I mean, Evans?" a voice said, on the other side, sounding unsure.

Lily tried ignoring it and by kissing Jordan attempted to get him to ignore it also.

But there was another knock. "Evans? I know you're in there. We need to talk."

Lily sighed. Jordan removed his arms from her body, and she tied back up the first few buttons of her shirt as he hid.

Wrenching the door open, Lily asked, "What do you want?"

James smiled slightly. "Hope I'm not interrupting something," he said, glancing down at her buttons.

Lily looked down at her buttons and noticed that she hadn't done them up properly. "Truthfully, you did interrupt something. But now that you've interrupted, what is it that you had to say."

"You know what? We'll talk later."

Lily shook her head at him angrily. "You are a prick you know?"

"I know."

"Good. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have better things to do." She closed the door on his face and wiped her face with her hand.

Jordan came up to her. "Are you alright babe?"

Lily composed herself quickly and gave him a big smile. "Never better!"

--

It was late when Lily was walking down the hallway. She had just done patrolling and had parted ways with her partner, a fifth-year from Hufflepuff, when she heard something behind her.

The red-head whipped around and glanced into the darkening corridor. It was nothing, she told herself. Probably just Filch's cat and she had no reason to worry, so she began walking again.

But the footsteps that sounded behind her were not those of a cat. In fact, she was sure it was human. She turned around again, her heart racing. "Who's there?" It was stupid, she knew that, but she couldn't help herself. "I know you're there."

"Evans," a voice behind her said, "are you okay?"

Lily whipped around. "James, thank god you're here. I think there's someone following me."

"I don't see anyone..."

"I swear, there was someone behind me! I could hear them walking."

"Evans, I think you're just tired. But, if there is someone there, let me escort you back to the dorms. It's not that far."

Lily sighed and gave in. "Okay, okay. I guess it's just my nerves."

"Well, it everything going on these days, with the rise of that dark lord, I understand."

"Thanks." Lily hated to admit it, but she felt safer now that she was with someone, even if that someone was James Potter.

They got to their dorm room and they stood awkwardly apart from each other. "So was everything normal on patrol?" James finally asked. "Well, besides the whole 'I think there's someone walking behind me' thing."

"It's true okay? Someone was behind me and it wasn't Filch's cat. I swear, I heard the footsteps."

"Could they have been your own and you were just paranoid?"

"Just because I'm afraid of the dark doesn't mean I'm starting to hear things."

"Fine, okay? I don't feel like arguing tonight."

"That's a first," she muttered.

"I heard that."

"Well at least you know that I said it."

"Merlin, you are infuriating."

"Pretty sure Merlin isn't infuriating, but since I never met him, I can't say for sure."

James took a deep breath. "Just go to bed."

"You are not my mother."

"Good thing too. Cause if I was, then there would be some serious problems about the way I feel about you."

"Whoa, wait a minute. How do you feel about me?"

"Good night Lily." He stepped into his room and closed the door gently.

Lily stepped into her own room, wondering what it all meant.

--

Having spent more and more time with James, Lily noticed that he had changed considerably. He wasn't as arrogant, or as egoistic, but those traits were still hiding under the surface. Once in a while, they would come up, but James was able to mask them quickly if needed.

One day, Lily actually caught herself looking at the black-haired boy, wondering about him. Had he truly changed? Did it even matter? She was dating the most perfect boy ever… why would she even consider throwing it all away?

But the more she thought about it, the more she realized Jordan has his faults, like everyone else. Was she just trying to convince herself that he was perfect to throw her mind off the fact that James Potter was suddenly looking attractive again?

Lily wished it wasn't true. Oh how she wished she could just keep hating him, but, whenever she looked at him, her heart no longer spewed black bile. It was a hard emotion to comprehend. Why was this happening to her?

And why now?

She loved Jordan with all her heart. She could imagine marrying him and making babies with him. But, the other night, she dreamt of marrying James and having HIS babies, and it felt normal to her. What in the world did it mean?

Could she be falling for the bespectacled boy again? No, no, she couldn't. It wasn't right. She shouldn't be. But the more she thought about it, the more she had a hard time denying it.

She was falling for James Potter and nothing she could do about it could stop it.

--

**Author's note: I would have written more, but I didn't have much else for this chapter. Next chapter will be drama filled intense. Oh joy. I can't wait to write it.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's note: The last chapter was way too short for my liking, but I was kind of stuck. I needed to put my priorities straight and realize what I was doing. I think that my dramas in my life are closer solved and now I have the time and energy to deal with Lily's drama.**

**--**

The more Lily tried to deny it, the more she realized it was true. Everything she ever thought was right was wrong, and everything she ever thought was wrong was right.

Lily felt as if her life was spiralling, and all because of one tiny conversation.

It had been a normal night, with Lily and James talking in the Common Room about patrols, when suddenly the conversation switched. How, Lily wasn't quite sure, but somehow it did.

"So, how's Jordan?"

"How do you know about him?"

"Well, duh Lily. You two hold hands in the hallway, kiss at meals, how can I not notice?"

"Oh." Lily paused for a moment to consider this. "He's good."

"That's good." A pause followed, before James continued. "I didn't mean to interrupt you two the other day. I hope that you were able to, um, ahem, continue what you were doing."

Lily blushed slightly. Truthfully, they hadn't done anything too bad, and she was still a virgin. "Um… yeah, we, uh, continued what we were doing. But it's nothing like that."

"Like what?"

"Like what you're thinking. We haven't gone all the way." Lily wanted to smack herself for blurting that out, but she couldn't take it back. "Sorry, you probably don't really want to hear about this."

"No, no, I actually kind of want to hear about it. I'm intrigued."

Lily raised her eyebrow questioningly but did not comment. Finally, she sighed. "I haven't had that much experience so there's not much to say."

"Well, what have you done so far?"

"Probably nothing compared to you."

"Well, first of all, I wouldn't know that if you hadn't told me, and second of all, how would you know?"

"I hear things. It's one of the perks of being a wallflower."

"You're not a wallflower."

"I am. I don't have that many friends and no one notices me."

"Yeah, but you have some pretty good few friends."

"Who are not in many of my classes. At least you have Peter, Sirius and Remus in your classes. If not, there are other people for you to talk to."

"Well, Peter's not much of a talker, and Sirius likes to talk about which girls have what knickers on. Like for example, the yesterday, we were sitting in Transfigurations and…" Suddenly a look of horror passed over his face. "Never mind. I've said too much."

"No, no, go on. I want to hear it."

"No, seriously, I can't. You'll get mad."

"I promise I won't."

"Promise?"

"Pinkie swear promise!" Noticing James's puzzled expression, she added, "It's a Muggle thing."

"Oh."

"Yeah. So go on."

"Um, well… Sirius though it would be funny to guess which knickers a certain red-head we know was wearing."

"Oh." She blushed a bit more. "What was your guess?"

James laughed. "Well, I thought that maybe it was lacy pink knickers, but Sirius was a bit racier and said a black thong."

"Well, you were both wrong."

"Were you going commando then?" A hint of a blush spread across his face.

"I bet you wish, but no. I was wearing white cotton knickers. Very comfortable you know."

"Well, I wouldn't know, but…"

Lily smacked him good-naturedly on the arm.

"So do you have a girlfriend?"

James looked up at Lily surprised. "I didn't think you would care, but yes I do."

"Who is she? Would I know her?"

James chucked. "I'm not sure if you would know her. She's a 6th year Hufflepuff. Her name is Kim Basely."

Lily thought for a moment, but shook her head. "Nope, I don't know her."

"Didn't think so."

"Anyways, what's she like?"

"Kim? Well, she's beautiful, she's smart, she's sexy. Basically, she's the best thing to have happened to me."

"Oh." Lily felt her heart break slightly in her chest, but she understood that it was a good thing. "That's good."

"Yup."

A question swirled in Lily's mind, and she couldn't help but blurt it out. "How far have you and your girlfriend gone?"

James laughed. "I guess since I asked you, its fair game." He paused for a moment, weighing his answer. "All the way."

Lily's jaw dropped slightly, but recovered herself quickly. "Oh, I should have guessed that."

"Why's that?"

Lily blushed. "Just, because... who you are, it's... well, I don't know... obvious."

"Obvious?"

"Damn it, do I really have to say it?"

"Yes."

"That you aren't a virgin. Okay, there. I said it. Did you really have to make me go through that?"

James laughed. "Yes. Because now I can see the cute shade of red you turned."

Lily's face turned even more red, but inside, she was thinking, _What the hey? Doesn't he have a girlfriend? _ But Lily just smiled. He was a flirt, everyone knew it, and that's what was going on between them.

Or, at least that's what Lily hoped.

--

"He was flirting with you?" asked Alice, shocked. "But you said that he said he had a girlfriend."

"I know, I know!" Lily cried, shaking her head. "What does it mean?"

"It means he's not over you and he's compensating."

"Are you sure?"

"Well, he said that his girlfriend was the best thing that ever happened to him. We don't know who she is. How can we be sure that she's real?"

"Well, he's obviously not going to make up someone who goes to our school, because we can check up on his story."

Alice thought for a moment. "That's true. Did you ask him if he still liked you?"

"Why in the world would I ask him something like that?"

"I don't know! I'm curious. I'm sure you are too."

"Well, obviously. But it's not something I would go and ask him straight up," Lily told her friend, blushing slightly at the thought.

"Lily, seriously, do you even care if he likes you?"

Lily hung her head in shame. "I can't lie to you. I kind of wish he would still like me."

"What about Jordan?"

Lily's heart broke. "I know, I know. He's prefect. But, he's too perfect. I argue with him, he submits, and blames it all on himself. He wants to keep me happy, but I'm not."

"You want to argue with him?"

"No, no, that's not what I mean," Lily said, sighing. She blew her bangs out. "If he does something wrong- something like forgetting our date or insulting something I like without realizing it or whatever- he immediately assumes that by sucking up, things will be better. He thinks that if I'm mad, that buying me chocolate will make it all go away. I want him to fight back sometimes, tell me that I'm being a bitch or that I'm too worked up. I want him to get riled up and argue back. I don't want him submitting and sucking up."

"I can see the dilemma in that. So I guess what you're saying is that, in a nutshell, he loves you too much and it's annoying."

"Yes! He's always there, always ready to submit to my whim, and when I ask him what he wants, he replies with "whatever you want". It gets annoying sometimes."

Alice passed her the chocolates she had been eating.

"Thanks Alice, but I don't think chocolate can make my problems go away."

"I know, but it helps make you feel better."

Lily laughed. "True," she said, popping another chocolate into her mouth.

--

Lily invited Jordan to her room one night, trying to prove to herself that her infatuation with James was nothing more than wanting what you shouldn't have. She tried equating it to wanting the last chocolate in the container, and knowing that you shouldn't, but it was a weak comparison.

When Jordan took her in his arms, she felt slightly uncomfortable. She wanted badly to just melt into his embrace and be able to enjoy herself, but she couldn't. The red-head couldn't stop imagining a certain black-haired boy.

Was she going crazy?

Was she going to ruin the perfect relationship for a boy that she wasn't even sure wanted her?

The sensible part of Lily told her to leave it alone. If she were to ruin it with Jordan to lust after a boy that was already in a relationship and would probably not want anything to do with her, then she would be ruining her life.

The curious part of Lily wondered if he had changed. She wanted to see what he was like as a lover, as a friend, as a boyfriend. She wondered if he still loved her, if there was a chance between the two of them if he would go back to her. Most of all, Lily wondered if he would give her what she craved... the aggressiveness, the passion, the intensity of a relationship, of feeling wanted. But she also wanted someone who would stand up to her, argue with her, love her and make her feel on top of the world.

Lily felt some of that with Jordan, felt loved and desired. But it wasn't enough. There was barely any sparks. Jordan was too safe. He didn't know how to let go and just let things come as they may. He was calculating and he was controlling.

And the more Lily thought about it, the more she realised she craved danger and the unknown, and Jordan wasn't either of those.

It suddenly hit her: she was bored with Jordan and craved adventure.

James Potter was the adventure she craved, and there was nothing she could do to stop that.

--

**Author's note: Reviews are nice... so send them please... they help me write. **


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's note: Recap is that Lily is realizing that her relationship with Jordan isn't as perfect as she thought and that James is looking appealing. Fun. **

**--**

The next few days, Lily felt hyper-aware of James, no matter where he was. If he was sitting behind her in a class, she could feel his every moves. If he was all the way to the side of her, she felt him. Even if he was just walking behind her, she felt aware of him. A few times, she even caught herself wondering if he was watching her.

But Lily shook her head to stop those thoughts.

She knew that something had to be done.

She should just cut off all contact with James... except obviously that wouldn't work. She lived with him, for Merlin's sake! Not to mention the fact that they were Heads and they had to patrol, and plan events, etcetera, etcetera.

Lily wanted to tear her hair out of her head just thinking of how dramatized her life had become. When did this happen? She wondered but never seemed to come up with an answer.

Was it possible that from the moment she had become his girlfriend back in 4th year, that her life was headed for this drama?

She didn't want to think that. She wished that she could go back in time and erase that part of her life, but she knew that in doing so, she might alter her present self.

And anyways, it wasn't as if she could ask McGonagall to get a Time-Turner for her just to fix her life.

The red-head came to the conclusion that she would have to deal with her past herself.

--

That night, an hour or so before they had to go do rounds, Lily decided that she was going to talk to James and sort through her emotions at a later date.

She sat on the couch in the Head's common room and waited. Unfortunately, she already knew James' habits and she knew that he would always sit in the common room for an hour waiting for rounds.

Finally, the raven-boy emerged from his room. He stopped when he saw the red-head. "Hullo Li-Evans."

"Hello."

"How are you?"

"Fine. You?"

"Fine."

They fidgeted awkwardly.

"Can I sit down?" he finally asked.

"Sure, why not?" Lily moved over slightly, but realized that the love seat itself wasn't that big. She looked over and saw that the other sofa was much larger, but to change seats now would look funny.

Luckily, James caught on and sat on the larger sofa.

"So how are things between you and Kim?"

James shrugged. "Okay. We've been fighting a lot lately though."

"Oh. That's too bad." A suddenly flutter of hope shone strongly in Lily's chest but she mentally squished it. "Can I ask what about?"

"Lots of things. Mostly, we fight about you."

"Me?" Lily asked, shocked.

"She thinks I'm cheating on her with you."

Lily's jaw dropped. "What?!"

"I told her that was ridiculous. I wasn't in love with you anymore, so she wouldn't have to worry."

"What do you mean 'anymore'?"

"I mean that there was one time where I was in love with you."

"Let me guess: In our fourth year."

" Actually, yes."

"And I guess it didn't last long."

"You're wrong there. I love you Lily."

"I thought you just said that you weren't in love with me anymore."

"I said I told Kim that."

"You lied to her then."

"I did."

"And didn't you say that there was a time where you were in love with me, meaning that you no longer did?"

"I never said that it ever stopped that time."

"You have an answer for everything, don't you."

"I do."

She suddenly realized that she was leaning forward and so was he. They were so close to each other that if they wanted to, at that moment, they could have kissed.

Her brain stuttered for a moment and all she had the urge to do was kiss him. But, memories from the past came rushing through her and she pulled away.

"What's wrong?"

"Why did you do it?"

"Do what? I'm confused." His face was twisted into a puzzled expression.

"You know what. That night..."

James looked at her, unsure of what she was talking about. "Lily, seriously-"

"Don't pull that crap with me. You know what I'm talking about. You know the night that I'm speaking about. It was because of that night, because of what you tried to do to me, that I hate you so much."

"I'm sorry, okay? Is that what you want to hear? That I mucked up?"

"No. That's not at all what I wanted to hear."

"Then what is it that you want to hear? That I was a prick back then? That I didn't seem to ever do anything right? That I ruined the best thing that ever happened to me because I was high?"

"You were high?"

"Yes. Sirius thought it would be fun to steal some from Mark Tomas, who's a muggle-born. We smoked it before I met with you, and I was so high that I didn't know what I was doing until it was too late."

"That is stupid. And anyway, I do doubt that I was the best thing that ever happened to you. You said a while ago that your girlfriend now is the best thing that ever happened to you."

"I lied. I wanted to see your reaction."

"I didn't react."

"I know. I was upset that you didn't. I wanted you to give me a reason to break up with Kim."

"You said it was perfect."

James got up and took her hands. "Lily, every time I kiss her, I think of your soft lips. Every time she smiles, I think of your mouth breaking into a grin. Every time her cheeks flush, I think of yours that were so easily blushed. Lily, in general, I always compared her to you. Hell, every girl I was ever with, never compared with you. You are just perfect." He tried wrapping his arms around her, but she moved away quickly.

"How dare you. How dare you say these things to me and expect me to just melt into your arms. I am not the feeble girl I once was. I am so much stronger, and just because you say sweet things, doesn't mean a thing."

"Lily, I'm sorry. I'm always screwing up because I get nervous and words don't come out right."

"Sorry doesn't mean much. If you want to prove you're sorry, show me."

"Fine, I will." He got down on his knees and held her hands tight. "Lily Evans, forgive me. I mucked up the relationship we had once, and every day of my life I have regretted it. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?"

"Even if I did, I could never forget."

"And I'm not asking you to. I am asking you if you could ever forgive me."

"Truly, I do not know."

His face fell slightly, and Lily felt a pang in her heart. Those things that happened, they were in the past. She had to stop living her life worrying about the past repeating.

She was ready to forgive, never forget, but she could forgive.

"You know what, if you can prove to me that you are truly sorry, I will forgive you."

James grinned widely and leaped up gracefully. "Thank you Lily, so much." He hugged me tightly and she couldn't help but laugh.

"We need to get going if we're going to make it in time to do rounds."

"Aw, no fun." When she swatted his arm, he laughed. "All right, then."

They made their rounds together, for the first time, and they talked the whole time.

Slowly, the two students were beginning to know each other again and Lily couldn't be happier.

--

**Author's note: Slowly but surely, the two lovers will be back together. I just have to go through the painful task of the breaking ups.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's note: I just want to thank everyone who reviews. I try to write as fast as I can to update, but school does get in the way sometimes.**

**--**

Lily couldn't sleep that night. In her mind, she kept replaying what happened between her and James over and over again.

It wasn't normal for her to be thinking of a boy she thought she hated and be feeling things besides hate.

And what about Jordan? It wasn't fair to him what she was doing. Lily knew what had to be done, but it didn't make the task any easier.

Frustrated, Lily got up from her bed and put on her robe.

The red-head made her way from her room to the common room, her mind still running with thoughts.

Just as she was about to sit down, she heard a voice. "Can't sleep either?"

Lily turned around and saw that James was standing in the doorway of his room, only wearing a pair of pyjama pants. "No, I can't."

"Does it have anything to do with our conversation?"

"You think very highly of yourself."

"I know. That's not my point."

Lily sighed. "I hate to admit it, but yes."

James walked over to the red-head and put his hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, but I just needed to get it off my chest."

"I understand," she told him, although she felt as if she didn't. "I'm not sure what to make of it."

"I love you Lily. I want to be with you again."

"I just don't know if I can deal with it again."

"I've changed since that year."

"I know you have, but what's to say we won't fall into that same old routine and you won't try to rape me again?"

James hung his head in shame. "Lily, I don't know how many times I have to say this to you. I am so sorry. I will do anything to make it up to you. If I had been in my right mind, I never would have pressured you."

"I know that you say that, but how can I know for sure that what you say is true?"

"There really is no way, unless you want to go steal some truth potion from Slughorn."

"I might want answers, but I don't want to get them through stealing a potion."

"Then you are going to have to trust my word."

Lily didn't speak for a moment, contemplating her answer. "I do not know what to say. To trust your word would go against everything that I have to come to believe. I made myself become unable to trust people, especially men. I remembered what you did to me every day of my life, and I'm not about to forget it any time soon."

Lily could feel tears brimming and her heart breaking as she told James finally how she truly felt. She was waiting for him to get up and walk away from her, telling her she was just too troubled for him.

"If I would have known about how badly I mucked up before I never would have done what I did. You say that you remember every day, well so do I. For months, I obsessed about it. I would watch you down the hallway or in the common room, and I would wonder about how badly you hurt, and if you hurt as badly as I did."

"Do you still watch me down the hallway or in the common room?"

"How can I not? You are just way too beautiful." A blush spread on the red-head's face and James laughed. "Oh how I've missed that blush."

Lily looked up at James and found him watching her. His hazel eyes were making her melt, and she felt as if she couldn't look away. "Stop hypnotizing me," she muttered.

"I should be the one telling you that," he said to her.

They leaned forward, their lips so close to each other that a piece of parchment might not fit.

The teens closed their eyes and their lips finally touched. A shock ran through their bodies, starting from their heads to their toes. James wrapped his arms around her waist, and she wove her hands into his dark hair.

Lily suddenly pulled away, wrenching herself from his grasp. "I can't," she gasped. "I can't do this to Jordan. I can't feel guilty for kissing another man."

"I understand," James told her, although her eyes told her that he didn't like the fact.

"I just need some time to sort through things."

"I see."

"Don't be unreasonable. Just because you're fine with cheating on your girlfriend, doesn't mean that I am."

"I'm not fine with it, but stressing over it won't help much."

"I know I know, but it's just the fact of what we're doing. I don't feel comfortable sneaking around behind Jordan's back. He's been nothing but perfect to me and I owe it to him to end things with him before I jump into a new relationship."

Lily shocked herself. The words had slipped out of her mouth before she could even think them. It seemed that she was decided: she was going to break up with Jordan so that she could be with James.

Was it truly what she wanted? If she said it was, then it must be true on some sort of subconscious level... right?

"Look Lily, I would never pressure you to break up with Jordan just for me-"

"Who ever said I was breaking up with him for you?"

The black haired boy flushed. "Oh, well I assumed-"

Lily began laughing. "James, I'm bugging you."

"Oh."

She kissed his cheek. "Good night." She moved away from the boy and walked back to her room. Before entering it though, she looked back over her shoulder, and saw that James was still watching her.

"Good night gorgeous," he said to her, giving her a smile.

Lily grinned as she closed the door to her room.

--

Lily invited Jordan to the Head's dorm a few days later. It took her a few days after her conversation with James to get the nerve to do what she had to do. That, and she needed a few pep talks from Alice to keep her moving forward. Lily had to give Alice some credit though, because even though she wasn't sure Lily was doing the best thing, she still supported her decision... and she swore she would never utter an "I-told-you-so".

"Hey babe, what was it that you needed to talk about?"

Lily wrung her hands together nervously and took a few breaths. "Jordan, I don't know how to tell you this..."

His face dropped. "Oh. It's one of those conversations."

"I'm sorry. It's just that..." Lily was at a lost as to what to say. "Look, I'm sorry, I don't exactly know for sure, but..."

"I get it, you're breaking up with me. I could tell your emotions were waning." He didn't really look that upset, but Lily knew how well he was at hiding his emotions. "Just tell me one thing: are you sleeping with James Potter?"

Lily's eyes went wide with shock and her mouth opened. "What?"

"You heard me. Are you sleeping with him?" It was then that Lily suddenly realized how dangerous Jordan could be. True, she had never seen him angry. But she was breaking up with him and he thought because she was sleeping with someone else when she never even gave it up to him.

"Jordan, I would never-" She put her hand on his shoulder to try and calm him, but he whipped it off.

"Don't you dare touch me. Who knows where those hands have gone? You two have this suite to yourselves; you could shag all the time and nobody would be the wiser."

"Jordan McCain you are a prick, you know that? I have always been faithful to you, no matter what. I would never ever cheat on you, and if you knew me well enough you would have know that."

There was a wild look in his eyes, and for a moment, Lily wondered if all boys were really crazy underneath it all. "I'm not sure I even knew you that well. You hid behind a protective barrier. You didn't let me in, and I was a fool to hope that one day you'd get over yourself and let me in."

"Go away. Leave right this second. I don't want to see your face ever again."

Jordan pushed her against the wall and she had a déjà vu moment. "Don't you ever tell me what to do. Ever."

"If I want to tell you to piss off, then I will tell you to do so." Lily's heart was pounding in her chest, but her voice was surprisingly strong.

Jordan was pressing himself up against Lily's body. "Since you've already given it up to Potter, why not just leave me with a little parting gift."

Lily was disgusted. Were all men the same when they got broken up with? Maybe only the ones she attracted.

"I will never give you anything."

"You will give me what I deserve."

"You deserve a kick in the privates."

No sooner had Lily said this, the door of her room burst open. "Get away from her!" James yelled, wrenching the boy away from the red-head. "If you ever touch her again, I will hurt you."

Jordan looked disgusted. "Don't worry. I don't want your leftovers."

He left, slamming the door.

Lily fell into a heap on the floor. Tears were spilling out of her eyes. "Why do I always get the crazy ones?"

James sat on the floor next to her and rubbed her back but did not say anything.

"I always get the boys who want more than I can give and then seem to try and collect when I break up with them."

"I'm sorry Lily."

"Can you just go get Alice and Mary please?"

"You need girls. I get that. Whenever you're ready to talk, let me know okay?

Lily nodded. "Thanks."

"Anytime love, anytime."

--

**Author's note: Wow, I think that if I were Lily, I would swear off men for life. But things should be getting better soon. Oh and just if anyone is wondering, things like Lily's break up do happen. It's not just me being mean to her. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's note: So now that I've gotten Jordan and Lily's breakup out of the way, it's time to move on to James and Kim's breakup.**

**Also, you should consider yourself lucky that I was able to post this before I left for NYC. I wouldn't mind some nice reviews when I get back. Hint Hint.**

**--**

Alice and Mary rushed over as soon as they possibly could. Gathering their nightgowns and some essentials from the kitchen, they knocked on Lily's bedroom door and found their friend lying on her floor near the fireplace.

"Hey Lily, are you okay?" Alice asked, placing herself next to the red-head. "James told us what happened."

"I'm fine," she answered, although clearly she wasn't. "I needed to do it, and now that it's over with, I feel lighter."

"We brought sweets though," Mary said, holding up the big plate.

Lily laughed softly. "Thanks."

The girls talked for a few hours, and Lily began feeling relieved. Maybe she would be able to get through the break-up easier than she thought.

--

They say that meeting up with an ex-boyfriend for the first time is awkward. Lily had felt that with James after they had broken up, but she had also gotten sick and was able to hide out in the Hospital Wing with a legitimate excuse.

Her only consolation was that Jordan was not in Gryffindor, therefore, she would not have him in most of her classes. Now that she thought of it, he wasn't in any of her classes, so she wouldn't have to worry.

Even though she wouldn't be seeing him in the classroom, she still had to pass him in the hallway. And it wasn't just him that she had to pass.

As the red-head made her way to her classes, she had to pass the group of boys whom her ex-boyfriend was friends with. They all glared and sneered at her, but she was stronger than most and held her head high.

During the day, Lily held onto her mask as tight as she could. She would smile, laugh, talk, giggle, gossip and everything else a normal 17 year old girl should be doing. Her friends would look at each other as if to say "How is she doing it?", but Lily just pretended she didn't notice and continued with her day.

At night though, the pain would spill out of her, weakening her to the bone. Some nights, she would barely make it to her bed before collapsing. Other nights, she would just lie on the floor next to the fireplace and hope that the nights weren't too cold.

A week went by and Lily kept up her charades. She could feel the look of worry on people's faces, but Lily paid no attention to them. She was a strong girl, everyone who knew her knew that, but a girl could only be so strong.

One night, Lily was sitting next to the fire in the common room, hugging her knees closely to her chest. She watched as the flames licked the wood, turning it slowly black. The red-head had an urge to place her hand near the fire just to feel it burn, but she shook her head of those thoughts. She didn't want to be a masochist, nor did she want to inflict any harm on herself. That wasn't who she was, and she knew it.

Suddenly, she heard noise outside the portrait, and two voices, one male and one female. She heard James' deep voice float in, saying, "Kim, come on. Just come inside, and we'll talk about this."

A female voice replied, but Lily didn't wait to hear it. She got up quickly and practically ran to her room.

The portal burst open and the green-eyed girl could hear James and, apparently Kim, arguing.

"Come on James. Everyone knows you two are together. It's so obvious by the way you look at her. Why are you stringing me along when you want to be with her?"

Lily wondered if everyone assumed they were together. She hoped not.

"She and I, we're not together. If we were, I would have broken up with you a long time ago."

Lily thought that rude, but Kim took it amazingly in stride.

"I highly doubt it. You always want to feel powerful. You probably have her as your secret lover and have me as the girl you show off."

"Kim, don't think so highly of yourself. It's unbecoming. And even if Lily was my lover, I would rather have her as a lover and the girl I showed off than having her only as the sidelines."

"I'm so much prettier than that slut. Everyone knows she seduced you and that you, in your blind love for her, followed along."

"Shut your mouth. Lily is not a slut. If anything you are. You're the one who gave it up to me a week after we started dating."

Lily was shocked. Did people actually say mean things like this to each other? Well, apparently they did because she was hearing them at this moment.

"James Potter, you have to got to be the biggest prick in the world." A sound of a slap rang through the room and Lily shuttered slightly.

She felt the urge to go out there and defend James, but she knew that it probably wasn't the best idea -- and besides, he rather deserved it at the moment. She decided to wait it out.

"Kim Basely, I want you to leave and never come back. As of this moment, we are broken up."

"Fine, that's fine with me. Just one thing: I hope your slut breaks your heart."

Lily hung her head in shame. She never realized how much guilt could hurt. James was breaking up with his girlfriend to be with her. She broke up with Jordan to be with James. It wasn't right to either of them, and Lily wondered if this was the right decision.

The red-head knew that break-ups were bad, but were they seriously all as dramatic as the ones she had been a part of... or at least the one she had witnessed? She definitely hoped not.

Lily hadn't left her position by the door, but when she didn't hear much noise coming from behind it, she assumed it was safe to move. But Luck wasn't with her that night. Backing up without watching her step, she tripped over her slippers and she fell flat on her bum.

"What was that?" she heard Kim asked.

"It's probably nothing. Something probably just fell."

Lily got up from the floor quickly and rushed over to her bed, hoping that she would have time to duck under and hide. The door suddenly slammed open, startling Lily.

A girl close to Lily's age stood in front of her, hands on her hips. Long blond hair framed her round face and Lily noticed that she was quite a bit shorter than the girl in front of her.

"Oh hello." Lily said, that being the first phrase that came into her mind.

"Yeah, okay. Hello."

"I don't think we've met before. My name's Lily and-"

"I know who you are."

"Oh." Lily felt her face heat up slightly. "I guess you would."

"Well, you are the girl who seduced my boyfriend."

Lily's eyes went wide. "What are you talking about? Why would I seduce Potter? He's definitely not my type of bloke. Plus, as everyone knows, I hate him."

James gave Lily a hurt look, but she ignored it. She didn't need things to be worse then they already were.

Kim gave the red-head a look of disbelief. "Well, everyone is saying it and by the way he looks at you, it's hard not to believe."

"And do you believe what other people say or will you believe what you want? I tell you that from the bottom of my heart, I have no romantic feelings towards Potter, nor do I want to seduce him. That might be his dream, but it certainly is not mine."

The blond studied the other girl's face for any hint of a lie, but upon noticing the sincerity of her words, her face relaxed. "I'm sorry Lily. I had no right to do this to you or say those mean things about you."

Lily scrunched her mouth into a sort of smile that indicated that she accepted Kim's apology. She wondered how in the world this girl had gone from practically screaming that Lily was a slut to apologising for being mean.

"All is forgiven. Now, I don't mean to be rude, but I've had a long day and I would like to go to bed."

Kim smiled. "Of course. Maybe we can talk another time?"

Lily wanted to laugh and it took all of her strength not to furrow her brows. "Sure. Why not?"

Kim waved at the red-head before exiting from the room, leaving James and Lily alone. They heard the portal close, but neither one of them reacted.

Lily fidgeted near the bed, wishing desperately that she could just curl up under the soft covers. James watched her every move and she could feel his eyes on her.

Finally, Lily couldn't take it anymore. "What's wrong?"

"Do you really feel that way?" When Lily made eye contact with the raven-haired boy and was shocked to see pain in his eyes. "Do you really hate me?"

Lily sighed and sat down on her bed. "James, I don't know what I feel. I am so confused with my own feelings I cannot possibly begin to start thinking of others. I once asked you for time, and you more or less respected that. All I'm asking is that you give me just a little more time. Can you grant me that? Just about a month or so more?"

James sighed and leaned against the wall. "You are going to be the death of me, woman, you know that? I have waited for so long for you and when you are finally unattached, you still seem unavailable."

Lily chuckled sadly. "I guess I am that way."

"And I still will love you for it. No matter how you are, I will love you."

"I'm glad you think that. For now though, I'm really tired. Can we talk about this later?"

James walked up to the red-head and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Sleep tight, love," he told her, wiping away the single tear that had fallen from her eyes with his thumb.

Lily leaned into his palm, closing her eyes. His warmth filled her up, and just from minimal contact. Her body was just beginning to feel warm when he took his hand away from her face. He left her sitting there, dreaming of his warm hand back on her cheek.

--

**Author's note: I'm not quite sure how many chapters there will be left, probably only a few. Between 2 and 4 is a good estimate.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's note: A few more chapters to go. I'll be sad to see it go, but I need to move on. **

**Now that Lily and James have broken up with their respectful other halves, they can move on with one and other. Hopefully.**

**--**

A month had passed since Lily had broken it off with Jordan, and she felt like her old self. Granted, it was still hard to pass by certain places without having memories flood her mind, but at least she wouldn't feel like bursting into tears every time she saw a certain place that was dear to her.

Soon though, she told herself, she would forget those memories, or at least have them on a backburner in her mind. And when she got a new bloke to call her own, there would be some new ones.

For now though, Lily knew that she would get over it. Time, after all, heals all wounds.

--

One night, as Lily was studying on the floor of the common room, she heard a noise outside, then the sound of the portrait opening, letting in someone.

Lily rolled onto her stomach to see who it was, although she knew right away who it was.

"Hullo," she said.

James sat down on the sofa. "What are you doing on the floor?"

Lily smiled and got up. "I was just reading over the notes from Potions." She stretched her arms upwards, groaning slightly. "I guess I stayed on the floor longer than I should have."

James chuckled and patted the seat next to his. "Come sit here."

Lily took the few steps that were needed and sat down, her back cracking slightly as she did. "That felt good," she said.

James kissed her cheek. "Any where else that's sore?"

Lily raised her eyebrow. "Why?"

"Just asking."

"Well, my neck is a bit stiff..."

James moved so that he was sitting on the top of the sofa, his feet on the seat. Lily was between his legs, looking up at him and giving him a look that obviously said, "What are you doing?"

James just smiled at her and moved her head gently back into its original position. He moved her hair from her neck and began massaging her shoulders.

Lily let out a moan of appreciation as she felt some of the tension leave her neck. The red-head closed her eyes to continue enjoying the sensation.

Sometimes, James' fingers would lightly caress the skin on her neck that was exposed, which sent shivers down Lily's spine. Her mind would turn to other thoughts about those fingers, and she would wonder what it would feel like to have more of his skin in contact with hers.

Suddenly, James stopped the massage. Lily cried out in protest and opened her eyes. The raven-haired boy was now sitting in front of her (how he had done that so fast was beyond her knowledge), and looking at her hungrily.

"Why did you stop?" she asked, oblivious to the way he was looking at her.

"So that I could do this..." He grabbed her face gently, and brought her face to his. He went slowly in case she felt she had to pull away, but she never did. Their lips met and a spark seemed to be ignited.

They kissed passionately, years and months of tension that was bubbling out of them. He pulled her from the sofa onto his lap, where she wrapped her trouser-clad legs around his waist automatically.

His hands slipped under her shirt and caressed her back. Another shiver ran down Lily's spine at the contact and she wove her hands into James' dark hair.

The broke apart for a moment to catch their breaths, and James kissed her neck, before biting the soft flesh.

Lily gasped at this and James pulled away.

"Did that hurt?" Lily shook her head, her cheeks flushing even more than they were already. "Then why did you gasp?"

Lily shook her head again, not wanting to say anything.

"Come on, you can tell me."

Again Lily shook her head.

"Well, if it wasn't in pain..."

"You're going to make me say it, aren't you?"

James grinned. "Of course, luv."

Lily obviously looked uncomfortable. "I gasped because..."

"Come on, you can do it."

Lily bit her bottom lip. "I liked it, okay?"

James' grin turned into a giant smile. "I was hoping you would say that." He swooped down to her neck and bit it again, softly.

Lily gasped.

James bit her a few more times before Lily decided that she had had enough. She pushed his head away from her neck and moved her own lips to his neck. At first, it was a soft kiss, but then she sucked on the soft flesh.

The raven-haired boy suddenly realized what the red-head was doing and pushed her head away. "You better not have given me a hickey."

Lily giggled, glancing at the red spot that was for sure going to leave a mark. She hastily got up from her interesting entanglement and, before James could stop her, went into her room. Just before she shut the door though, she turned around. Giving him her sexiest look she could muster, she said, "Good night."

James let himself fall backwards onto the floor, groaning.

--

The next morning, Lily got up extra early to slip into James' room and cast a charm on him. She felt so much like a Marauder playing a prank on someone.

As she snuck back into her room, she hoped that it would teach him a lesson that she wasn't going to give in that easily. It was also payback for all the pranks him and his friends had done to her all those years.

Lily was giddy with excitement for the day to come.

--

As Lily sat on the sofa later that morning, she heard curses coming from inside James' room. He stormed out and glared at Lily.

"This hickey won't go away. What did you do to it?"

Lily smiled innocently. "I don't know what you are talking about."

"You know exactly what I am talking about. This stupid hickey on my neck will not be covered by any charm I try to hide it with and obviously the collar on my shirt doesn't go high enough."

Lily just kept on smiling. "I'm sorry, I still don't understand what you are talking about."

James growled at her. He placed his arms on either side of her head, and Lily could smell his delicious spiced soap. She felt her body heat up at his proximity, remembering last night's excitement.

If she wasn't a woman who believed that making love was for long-time daters, she would have definitely given it up to James right there and then.

"Look at this mark on my neck. See it?"

Lily looked up at the curve of his neck, licking her lips subconsciously. "Yes, I see it."

"Well, it won't go away."

"That's too bad."

"No, it's bloody hell. I'll have to go through my whole day with a bloody hickey on my neck!"

"James, you are in a presence of a lady. You shouldn't swear."

"You, a lady? Do ladies sit upon the laps of gentlemen with their legs wrapped around their waist gasping and moaning at every touch?"

"I did not moan!"

"Oh yes you did. You moaned and gasped because you liked everything I was doing for you, and we would have continued if you hadn't decided to jump away at that particular moment."

"That was the reason I jumped away at that particular moment." Lily felt her face heat up.

"You are infuriating. I hope you know that."

Lily smiled and moved out of the prison he had made with his arms. "That's why you love me," she said, before exiting into the hallway.

Just as she left, she heard him reply, "I know."

--

As Lily was walking down the hallway with Alice, she noticed that James and Sirius were in front of them, totally unaware of the two girls behind them, and they were talking.

"Mate, who gave you that hickey on your neck? It looks almost painful?"

James sighed. "I can't say her name."

"Why not? Too long for you to pronounce? Are you fooling around with some sort of strange-named lady?"

"No, it's not that. Every time I try to say her name, no sound comes out."

Sirius laughed. "Come on, tell me who it was. I won't judge. You don't have to lie to me."

"Fine then," James said, "if you don't believe me. It was-" James' mouth moved, but no sounds came out.

"Mate, come on. Stop messing around. Tell me."

"I'm trying!" James cried out, frustrated.

Lily, behind them, giggled.

James turned around at this sound and his eyes went wide. "Lily, please tell Sirius what you've done to me."

People passing them turned to stare.

"I have done nothing to you, well, that I know of. What you do in the privacy of your our room is your problem, not mine."

"Ha ha, that is hilarious."

"I try."

Alice glanced at Lily, then at James, trying to understand. Sirius seemed to be doing the same thing.

"Seriously though, tell them so that I don't look like a fool anymore."

"I still don't know what you are saying. Now, if you excuse me, I have to attend a class."

Lily looped her arm through Alice's and walked off, leaving a frustrated James behind.

--

After Lily had told Alice what had happened, her friend couldn't help but laugh.

"Seriously? You charmed his neck so that the hickey wouldn't be able to be covered AND you made it that he couldn't say who did it to him?"

Lily smiled. "Yup."

"Lily Evans, you are bad!" Alice squealed. "I like this side of you!"

The red-head shrugged. "I've decided to take advantage of the fact that he is so into me."

"So you're using him."

"In a way. Just don't repeat it to anyone."

Alice shook her head vigorously. "I won't I promise. At least let me be a part of it, okay?"

"Deal."

The girls shook hands.

--

**Author's note: You are probably wondering why I am setting up something when there are only a few chapters left. Ah, you will have to wait and see! **

**I don't know where I find the time to write, but for a while, expect weekly updates, if I can make it.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's note: School is almost done, yet there seems to be more homework than ever. It took me a while to write this, so bear with me.**

**--**

His lips crashed onto hers, her breath coming more irregular as the kiss became more passionate. A moan escaped from her lips, and he grinned against her lips.

This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. But it was happening, and she had to deal with it.

She wove her hands into his hair and pulled him closer as he lifted her onto his lap. His hands found their way up her skirt, stroking the soft skin of her thigh. Under normal circumstances, she would have been appalled by his and her behaviour, but at this moment, she didn't really care.

His hand moved higher, and she could feel his desire. He bit her neck and she moaned.

"Lily," he murmured huskily in her ear.

"Hmm..." she moaned.

"You need to wake up, luv."

"What are you talking about? I am awake," she murmured, kissing him again, "if you hadn't noticed."

"Lily, just open your eyes."

Lily did so and saw that James was smiling across at her, several feet away. She glanced around, hoping... no, praying... that no one else was around.

Luckily, they were alone.

"That sounded like some dream there."

The red-head could feel her cheeks heating up. "Yes, it was."

"Will you go into detail?"

"I don't think so."

"Aww, come on Lil. You know you want to."

The girl in question laughed and sat up, her stomach flip-flopping from their proximity.

It wasn't right, she thought automatically, but she mentally shook her head at the thought. They were both single, and a month had passed since they had broken up with their respective other, so what was wrong?

Nothing, she told herself. Nothing was wrong. It was just an automatic reaction that she had tricked herself into doing.

"I want to what?" she asked, feigning innocence.

"To tell me what your dream was. You were moaning. Usually, that means something good is happening."

"No, it could mean I'm dying of consumption."

"I can tell the difference in moans." He waggled his eyebrows. "Would you like to know? I mean, in reality?"

Lily laughed and felt her cheeks warm slightly. Was it just her, or was the room getting warmer?

"There will be no..." Lily waggled her own eyebrows.

James made a pouty face. "Aww no fun."

"Sorry, that's me. Miss No Fun."

The black haired boy laughed. "I'm sure with the right provocation you could be Miss Lots of Fun."

Lily was sure that if it was possible, her face would have lit on fire. "I'm sure I could be."

He licked his lips unconsciously as he watched her lips move. Lily was suddenly captivated by his tongue, wondering what else they could do besides tempt her.

Before she could even think about it, James' lips came crashing down onto hers.

He pulled her off the sofa onto the floor, where he was sitting, and she fell into his lap. It was like her dream all over again but it was real. Everything was oh so real. The way his lips moved on hers, the softness of his lips, the warmth his body gave her, the way her heart was fluttering wildly in her chest.

"James..." she murmured as she pulled away slightly. She rested her forehead on his. "We can't keep meeting like this."

"Shouldn't you mean kissing like this? Cause if that's the case, I can kiss you in other ways that will have the same effect on you. Or even more so, if that's what you want."

Lily laughed. "Oh believe me, I like the way you kiss."

James chuckled also. "I like the way you kiss too."

"Glad we have that covered."

James kissed her lips again softly for a moment. "Do you think enough time has passed for us to be together?"

Lily scrunched her nose in thought. "Well, you know, I'm sure you're still heartbroken, and I do hear you cry at night..."

The raven-haired boy began tickling her at that comment, making her squeal with surprise. She laughed and tried tickling him back, but he seemed to know exactly where to move his arms so that she wouldn't be able to move.

"Stop!" she cried, "Stop! It tickles too much!" She was laughing so hard she felt as if she could barely breathe.

"I'll only stop if you give me a kiss."

"Okay, okay, I'll kiss you."

James stopped, but wrapped his arms around her so that she couldn't escape. Lily leaned in and pecked his cheek. She squirmed her way out of his embrace.

"Hey! What was that?"

"A kiss," she replied, grinned.

"Like bloody hell it was."

"Now, now, James. We've discussed this: No swearing in front of a lady."

The raven-haired boy growled. "Lily..."

"That's my name sweetie, don't wear it out." She winked at him before bounding out of the Common Room and out of the portrait-door.

James moaned as he threw himself on the sofa. And it was not a something-good-is-happening moan.

--

Lily practically ran to the Gryffindor common room, ready to tell Alice all that had happened. She felt ready to burst with the news, but she knew that patience wasn't a virtue of hers.

Noticing that no one was in the halls, she ran a length, stopping when she heard voiced around the corner.

She tried to act calm as she walked through the common room, hoping that no one noticed her flushed face. Lily took the stairs two by two, passing a group of 1 year girls who stared at her as if she had two heads.

She got to her old room, and opened the door, finding Alice sitting on her bed reading _Witch Weekly_.

"Hey Lily, these magazines are hilarious! I stole one from Mary and... You okay?"

Lily was grinning. "Alice, it was so much easier than I thought."

"Are we talking about..."

"Of course! James is head over heels in love with me, and he always was. Now though, I'm leading him on and he asked me if he and I should be together."

"Tell me more."

"Well, I told him that since I heard him cry every night it might not be a good idea, but it was obviously a joke. The first night he broke up with Kim, he actually tried to get me to admit that I loved him."

"You never told me this! What did you say?"

"I told him I needed time to sort things out. He told me he would wait. It was cliché, but it was still sweet."

"Lily, are you in love with him? You don't really seem into this whole revenge plan that we have cooked up."

The girl in question sighed. "To a degree, I think I do love him. But he hurt me and I just want to hurt him back. It's a primal instinct, I guess."

"No, it's more of a woman instinct. I understand though. He was a prick and you want to be a prick back, just to shove it in his face."

Lily laughed. "Thanks for putting it that way Alice."

"No problem." She flashed her friend a big smile. "It's what I do."

The two girls fell into a comfortable silence and Lily came to sit on the bed next to Alice. "What should I do though? I'm so confused."

"You love him. It's hard to hurt someone you love. Are you ready to just lie down and think about England or do you want to make it harder for him to catch you?"

"I've already made it hard for him to catch me. Over the years, when he was trying to win me back, I ignored him, I said terrible things to him, and I was just downright nasty with him, especially when we fought."

"Your fights were legendary. There's so many that I don't think I could recall them all."

"They were mostly all stupid ones too. He'd pick a fight with me over something like I was looking in the wrong direction."

"I remember that one. You looked over to see the time and he started yelling at you that he couldn't see your face anymore."

The girls laughed at this, remembering that time fondly. "It seemed so easy back then."

"I know. Now, we have NEWTs this year, next year we're gone into the real world. It seems so far away yet way too close."

"And this is our last year to fix the problems with other people who we might never see again." Both Alice and Lily knew that the red-head was talking about James.

"Lily, I'm sure everything will turn out fine. If you want to be with him, go ahead. Our plan can be thrown out of the window." To make her point stronger, she pretended to wad up a piece of paper in her hand and levitate it towards the window.

Lily sighed, squeezing her eyes shut. "Alice, I want to be with him. Maybe more than I want to admit. When he kissed me today, I never wanted it to stop."

"Whoa wait, what? Back up there my friend. He kissed you? See, you never tell me these things."

"Yeah, he kissed me. I was sleeping on the sofa, and he woke me up because... never mind that's not really important. But, he woke me up and we were flirting a bit and he just kissed me."

"Was it better than that first time?"

"It was so much better. My knees were weak and I wasn't even standing!"

"And where were you?"

Lily's cheeks flared. "In his lap."

"Oh, naughty girl. Tell me more."

The red-head told her friend the whole story, from before the time she and Jordan had broken up to what had happened not even an hour before.

"And you want to get your revenge on him? Lily, what are you thinking?"

"I don't know! I can't see to bring myself to say 'Yes, I want to be your girlfriend' to him, but I want to be with him. I also want to get my revenge, because I couldn't just be with him and all's forgiven. He's going to have to work for it."

"Tell him that. Maybe revenge could just be torturing him by doing what you've been doing until you decided he's had enough."

"Maybe." Lily lay down on the bed, Alice copying her. "It's just not something that I could randomly bring up."

"Sleep here tonight. You can figure it all out in the morning."

"Where? Aren't all the beds taken?"

"Fanny said she'd be out all night, and we weren't to ask any questions." Alice winked.

"Okay, I think I will." Lily moved over to Fanny's bed. "I will talk to James in the morning. It's decided."

--

**Author's note: It took me a while because, well, school is crazy. The next one exists in my mind, but to have time to actually write it will be a challenge. After next week though, I will have time to write.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's note: Ah, the last chapter. I'm sad to see it go, but I have other story ideas to pursue. I may one day write another story about these star-crossed lovers, but not any time soon. Enjoy!**

**--**

Lily left the Gryffindor Common Room feeling re-energized. Her talk with Alice had given her a new confidence in herself. Why should she care about what other people thought about her and James? If she was happy, and if he was happy, those who really cared about them would be happy for them.

She almost had the urge to skip down the halls when she heard her name being called behind her. The red-head turned around.

"Hi Kim. How are you?"

The other girl smiled. "Better than last time we met."

Lily laughed nervously. "So what's new?"

"Nothing much really. I just wanted to talk."

"Um, okay then. About?"

"James."

"Huh."

"I bet that's not what you were expecting."

"No, I was expecting it, but I thought maybe in a little while."

"Has he asked you to be his girlfriend?"

"No. I'm expecting he will though soon."

"Why do you say that?"

"I don't know. It's just a feeling."

"Ah, the good old 'feeling'." Kim sketched inverted commas in the air on the last word.

The red-head laughed. "Anyways, what was it you wanted to say?"

"Let's go for a walk." She looped her arm into Lily's. "I'd rather not have this discussion around the fans of the James Potter Fan Club."

Lily looked around and suddenly realized that there were girls who were obviously trying to eavesdrop. They hurriedly bustled away upon noticing that the two girls were aware of them.

"Good idea."

They went outside, and both girls pulled out their scarves from their bags. Even though it wasn't quite winter, fall was obviously over. Lily made a small fire in a jar to keep them warm while they talked.

"I know it's not the best place to talk..."

"It's okay. I understand."

"I just don't want people trying to listen in and then going off to tell James about whatever I say."

Lily was starting to get nervous. "Is what you have to say bad?"

The other girl laughed. "No, no, I'm not here to slander James or anything. I just wanted to talk."

"Okay..."

"In fact, I wanted to tell you that if he doesn't ask you out soon, you should be the one to do it."

Lily was confused and it was apparent on her face. "What in the name of Merlin's pyjamas are you talking about?"

"Hmm, 'Merlin's pyjamas'. I never heard that one. Anyways, back to my point. It's obvious to everyone that James still loves you."

"Oh really now? I hadn't noticed." A small smile played on her lips though.

Kim laughed. "Okay, so I'll back up a little. James is in love with you. This part is obvious to anyone who has eyes. Now, for that matter if you love him back or not, it is irrelevant. I neither want to know nor care to know because it's none of my business."

Lily just stood there looking at James' ex-girlfriend, not really sure how to reply.

"Anyways, the main thing I wanted to tell you is that don't worry about me if James does ask you out. I'm over him, and I have been for a while. Actually, that's what I was doing there that night."

Both girls cringed at the thought.

Kim continued after the slight pause. "I was breaking up with James because, well, I guess I should tell you because I'm explaining it all to you, but I was cheating on him. I didn't tell him because I knew he would fly off the handle."

"So instead, you flew off the handle when he didn't accept you breaking up with him."

"Exactly. And I'm the type of person who won't take it lying down. So I fought back and said some things I shouldn't have."

"I can understand that."

"But, James is a great bloke. Oh, I know he did drugs for a while, but something happened to shock him out of it and he's never touched them since. He's totally loyal and devoted completely to whomever he's with. You just have to learn how control him. I don't think there will be a problem though. You seem like a tough girl who knows her way. Just don't let him trample you."

Lily smiled. "Oh, I think I have the upper hand on most days. He's just denying it."

Kim laughed. "Glad to hear it. Anyways, if you need to chat with someone who knows the ropes, don't hesitate to owl me or corner me in the halls."

"Okay. Thanks." Lily gave her a hug. "I appreciate it."

"Anytime."

--

Lily walked back to the Common Room feeling lighter. She didn't want to admit it to Kim, but she was worried of what she would think if and when James asked her to be his girlfriend. Now that she knew it was not a problem, life was looking slightly brighter.

Now if only Jordan could ever forgive her.

A voice behind her startled her. "Lily?"

As if by some miracle, Jordan was standing behind her, nervously twisting his hands.

"Jordan! How are you?" she asked, cocking her head to one side as if looking at the boy from a different angle might change what his answer was.

"I've been better, but I've been worse."

Lily moved forward to comfort him. She took his hands in her own to stop them from twisting. Red marks were showing on his skin. "You've started that bad habit again I see."

"I know. I keep trying to stop, but it's hard."

The red-head smiled apologetically. "I know what you mean."

"You haven't started chewing your nails again I hope."

Lily smiled. "No. See, look." She lifted her hands from his so that he could inspect her nails.

"That's good. I'm proud of you." He fidgeted again. "Look Lil, can we talk? I feel really badly how we ended things and I want to apologize somehow."

"Jordan, there's no need. I've already forgiven you. You were just upset."

"It was more than that. I really thought that the two of you were shacking up behind my back and I was just being strung along for the ride."

"Many people thought that, but it was nothing as such. I'm not his girlfriend, and he is not my boyfriend. We haven't been since fourth year."

"I know, I know! I was completely stupid because I convinced myself. I should have believed you, but I just thought... you are so beautiful that you could have anyone you wanted and you chose me and I didn't feel like I deserved you. And then my paranoia set in and I thought that because James was always looking at you and sometimes you would look back at him, that you had gotten over me to someone who could handle your beauty and make it shine even brighter." Jordan shook his head. "I sound crazy. I'm sorry. I shouldn't be dumping all of this on you."

Lily rubbed his arm. "Jordan, you know that you can tell me anything. Just because we're not dating anymore, doesn't mean we can't still talk and be friends. Yes, it will be awkward. But, we were such good friends before we started dating."

"You know it can never be like that. Not like it was before."

"I know. But what else can we do?"

Jordan shrugged. "Nothing else that is an option."

Lily took a deep breath. "I know it's hard, but like you said, there's nothing else we can do that is in the realm of possibility."

"It is hard because I still love you, even if I know you don't love me anymore."

"Jordan, I do love you, just not in the way you want me to. I'm sorry."

The man in question just looked at the red-head. "I've come to terms with that," he finally said. "As much as I hate to admit it, I'm ready to accept your moving on, even if it's with Potter."

"Thank you Jordan," she said, kissing him on the cheek softly. "It means a lot to me."

"Just try not to flaunt it too much please?"

"I promise I will try."

They both laughed before Lily spoke again. "Anyways, I should probably get back up to my room. I need to take a bath. I'll talk to you later okay?"

Jordan nodded. "Bye luv."

Lily smiled before she turned around and went inside the Common Room.

--

James was sleeping on the couch, his hair tousled in all directions and his glasses were hanging from only his left ear.

Lily chuckled to herself at the sight and moved quietly towards her room. Once inside she quickly shed her clothes and made her way to her bathroom, anxiously awaiting her bath.

She was just about to turn on the tap when there was a knock at the door of her room. "Who is it?"

"James."

"Oh. Um, give me a minute." She dashed back to her room and picked up her dressing gown, hastily putting it on. She opened the door and James was leaning against the frame.

"Took you long enough."

"I needed to find something to put on."

"You were naked?"

"Yes."

"And you didn't invite me to witness it."

"No."

"Aw, no fun luv."

"Too bad." Lily smirked. "I was about to take my bath though, so can we make this snappy?"

"Can I join you?"

"You wish."

"Of course." He flashed her his biggest smile in hopes to charm her.

"Okay, sure, why not."

James suddenly looked serious. "Really?"

"Pfft, no." Lily made a face to go along with the words.

James laughed. "You had me going there for a moment."

"That's nice to know. Anyways, what was it you wanted to talk about?"

"Did you think about us?"

"Us? As what? As each individual? 'Cause I have to admit that I think about myself way more than I think about you."

"You hurt me luv," James said, placing his hand upon his heart. "But seriously."

"Seriously? Yes, I have."

"Have you come to a conclusion?"

"Yes, I have."

"And...?" Lily just looked at him. "Come on luv, don't leave me hanging."

"If you still want me, I think we can give it a go."

James' mouth erupted into a grin. "Really?"

"Yes really. But, things will be different than last time. You have to know that. You cannot control me or try to because the moment you do is the moment I leave and I am never going to come back. Got it?"

"Feisty, I like that." He moved close to her and wrapped her in his arms. "I promise Lil, I won't let anything bad happen to you."

"You'd better not," she said, her voice muffled in his shirt.

James laughed as he squeezed her. "I guess you want to go take your bath now."

Lily nodded. "And no, you can't join me," she said, noticing the look on James' face.

"Bloody hell Lily. You will be the death of me."

"So you've told me. Now, if you excuse me, I need to take my bath." She kissed his lips, feeling them tingle slightly at the contact.

She closed the door softly and took off her dressing gown. "Just to let you know," she called out through the door, "I am now naked."

"I will knock down that door Lily, if you keep telling me these things."

"You'll get your chance to see me naked eventually. Just not today."

With that, she turned on the tap, which drowned out his response.

THE END.

--

**Author's note: It seems like an odd way to end the story, but it ended on a funny note, which was what I wanted. I hope you all enjoyed the story. PLEASE PLEASE review. And I want to thank everyone who has reviewed and encouraged me to write. It really does help.**


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